I don’t know how to describe the relationship with my phone. In theory, I think that I would not have any problem with spending a few days without it, but on the other hand, when I observe my behavior, I realize that I use it all the time.
Last time I noticed that I subconsciously decided to take my phone to the bathroom – even if I just wanted to take a quick shower.
I went in, put my phone on the sink, took off all the clothes, and started to treat my naked body with a stream of warm water.
After a few minutes, someone called me. I am kind of proud of myself that I did not nervously grab for a towel. Instead, I was watching my phone ringing and vibrating through the wet shower glass, hoping that it won’t fall. I was a little bit afraid in the beginning, but then I realized that it lies on stable ground, and nothing can happen.
And you know what? It’s always like that. Everything depends on the foundation.
You can easily get destroyed, disturbed, or annoyed only when you’re not well-grounded.
It’s fascinating for me to observe my friends. Listen to all the stories about how their parents treated them when they were children, go through anecdotes from previous relationships.
To be clear, I am not a psychologist, and I do not analyze all of my colleagues’ personalities. Still, when I spend time with them, I usually quickly notice how they were built and if they had a chance to learn to like and accept their minds and bodies.
Trust me. I have amazing people around me. They are unique, intelligent, and completely supportive. They are entirely different from each other, but – despite beautiful minds – they have one other thing in common.
They do not know how rare and gorgeous they are.
Whoever you are, reading this text, there’s a big chance that you’re also underestimating your value.
***
I have one remarkably smart friend. Let’s call her Claudia for this text. Claudia is genuinely gifted, very versatile, and knowledgable in many areas. What’s essential – Claudia has her voice and opinions, which she actively shares in her social media. Despite her everyday job, she also runs a blog and writes articles for different magazines.
Today she told me that one journalist reached her with the idea for cooperation. He wanted to talk with Claudia about her place in the world and the process of building self-awareness.
Once she shared this news with me, I was super happy. That’s great!!! – I wrote in our chat.
I wish I did not see her answer.
I don’t think that’s great; this magazine didn’t do the right research. The subject is ok, but I am not the right person. I wasn’t posting so much last time. But it was lovely to receive it.
Seriously?
They want to pay you for sharing your thoughts (basically without leaving home), and you want to skip that offer and advise them to find someone better? – I asked.
Unfortunately, I hear different variations of this story quite often. They are all about being not enough.
How could he get fascinated about me? I am not so special.
How could I apply for that job? I am not so experienced.
How could she get interested in me? I am not so attractive.
How could I ask for a raise? I am not so significant.
How could I show to someone myself naked? I don’t look like a model.
I love the ambition and constant desire for improvements, but not when they put you on hold.
For me, it’s simple. I am sure that you deserve all the love which you so freely give to other people. I will support you whenever I have a chance. But it will change nothing if you don’t fight for yourself and start to be brave.
It does not mean that you need to suddenly lose all the self-doubts. Fear, uncertainties, and dilemmas can also be very healthy. But not when they stop you from taking chances.
I am super curious about what you would do if you are not afraid. How could your life look if you start believing that nothing is too good to be yours? What if you stop looking for perfection and fall in love with the little moments?
In traditional Japanese aesthetics, there is a word and the whole philosophy called wabi–sabi (侘寂). It is centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection.
But when does something’s destiny finally come to fruition? Is the plant complete when it flowers? When it goes to seed? When the seeds sprout? When everything turns into compost?
― Leonard Koren
Wabi-sabi is a way of life that accepts complexity while at the same time values simplicity, writes Richard Powell in his book, Wabi Sabi Simple.
It depends on the ability to slow down, to shift the balance from doing to being, to
appreciating
rather than
perfecting.
Now read the last 4 words once again. And, please, think about it.
