I Feel It’s Coming

I cannot exactly say when I stopped writing. I only remember that, over time, it was slowly getting harder for me. I wasn’t able to keep the words direct and instead of considering what was stopping me, I just quit.

I was afraid what will happen ‘if”. What will people think. What will “the others” say. How will my family look at me if I start to write about sex. Which thoughts will my coworkers have once I admit that my job does not necessarily always give me satisfaction. How will I feel when “everybody” knows what I feel?

by Jessica Arends, @mydailydestinations - During a walk in Lisbon, we got lost. We walked for hours but then I saw this beautiful building with the most perfect balcony. How lovely do these flowers look?

Having all these questions trapped in my head made my writing very uncomfortable and painful. But when I stopped it I instantly started to suffer due to the fact that I was not writing at all. I was missing all those magic moments of creation which made me forgetting to eat. And trust me, I really love food.

Now I am slowly coming to the point when I do not want to ask myself anymore what if I fall. I want to know what if I fly. I want to write without fear. Obsessively,¬†incessantly and instinctively. I want to write in the way that I am and finally to stop adjusting my words to someone’s else expectations. I want to be.

And I truly feel it’s coming.

 

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