Do you know what differs people who feel great and people who feel hopeless? I’ll tell you. People who feel great usually t h i n k that this what’s happening in their lives is great, while people who feel hopeless b e l i e v e that most of this what’s happening in their lives is hopeless.
I don’t really need to know what’s going on in your life to understand which group you represent. It will be enough when I have a chance to get to know your o p i n i o n about what’s going on. To see if you are satisfied with your life, I just need to listen to your narration, hear how you speak and understand what you’re telling. Because there may be a chance that you are talking in the same way to yourself, so this is also what you are listening.
Happiness never really depends on objective conditions. You can be mentally in totally different places only by shaping different imagined realities out of the same situation.
Sometimes you may think that everything is better than it is. On the other days, you may feel that things are much worse than they are. Probably, the stuff will be placed somewhere in the middle. But you will be the one who will have the power to make it more painful or more satisfying.
Because you have control over the meanings.
And in the meanings, we search for satisfaction. We oddly listen to situations. Instead, we listen to our thoughts, ideas, images and fantasies. Look. We never even truly trust people. We rather trust our opinions about them.
So tell me.
What do you think?
What catches your attention?
Believe me. I have a great imagination and I know how to quickly destroy a perfect moment. I know how to easily ruin a beautiful day with a senseless doubt, stupid thought or a pointless suspicion. For me, it is so simple to create foolish stories, get lost, and be unsure which ideas actually should be cherished.
For the whole life, I was taught to be careful, have control over things and notice all the red flags (even before they appear) – just for my own safety.
I persistently tried to take care of my life and forecast everything what will happen. I was the happiest when I could manage the situations, predict people’s behaviors and keep my emotions under control. On the other hand, I was getting completely lost when I needed to deal with uncertainty. I was afraid of risks because I knew that they could bring some losses and make me cry, which wouldn’t be welcome.
In my eyes, “oops” has never been better than “what if”.
I don’t know when it exactly changed, but I remember that once someone told me that if I have control over everything, it basically means that I drive too slow. And it hit me.
I’ve never been a fan of speed racing, but I also could never imagine myself standing still in one place.
At some point in my life, I started to risk and began to feel. And I realized that by letting go of what does not work for me, accepting failures and allowing myself to lose control, I can only win.
Since then, doing great in unpredictable situations has always been more satisfying than doing great in a well-known environment. I finally understood that risk does not need to be connected with losing. On the contrary, it also may bring victory. A victory, which would be completely unavailable if I decide to stay in my comfort zone and run away from the wrong feelings.
We so much enjoy being in familiar places that sometimes we subconsciously search for some bad omens. Happiness scares us because it does not seem to be natural. Many times, searching for reasons to be worried feels pretty useful. Eventually, we were always taught to be careful and protect ourselves because no one else will do that.
On the other hand, if you are happy for too long, there will always appear someone who will advise you to finally remove your pink glasses and point out something that is not okay.
But this is not a story about what’s going on in your life and how others score it. It is a story about your personal o p i n i o n about what’s happening.
Maybe you shouldn’t obsessively search for perfect moments if you are not satisfied, but firstly, try to listen to your narration, hear how you speak and understand what you’re telling. Because there may be a chance that by talking this way, you do not allow yourself to notice how beautifully everything is going.